With apologies to Woody Guthrie, I have been finding myself making up verses to John Henry, sung passionately in the style of Mr. Guthrie.
Yeah, I do this singing in public. It helps pass the time, and scares passersby.
If you would like to make your own verse to John Henry, please feel free to add it in the comments. I’ll update with more verses as they pop up unannounced in my brain.
John Henry was a giant cheese pizza
A giant cheese pizza was he
He didn’t like to return any of his calls
And he claimed to have invented TV (oh Lord)
He claimed to have invented TV.
John Henry had an outboard motor
And a masters in philosophy
He would spend all day in his tub full of pudding
Badmouthing manatees (oh Lord)
John Henry was a perfumed waitress
Who’d bring you extra marmalade
But if you didn’t tip, he’d a-hit you with his wig
And throw you in the cold stockade (oh Lord)
He’d throw you in the cold stockade
John Henry had a plastic raven
He washed it with powdered soap
He would walk down the street with that raven on his arm
Filling all the people with hope (oh Lord)
Filling all those people with hope.
John Henry’s pa was a garbanzo
His ma was a rehydrated pea
They met on the floor of a diner
And were joined in holy matrimony (oh Lord)
Joined in holy matrimony