The Hatful Eight

So, I ventured forth tonight in search of popcorn, caffeine, and a movie.

What were my choices at the lovely LaGrange Theater?

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

LOOK AT ALL THAT MOTHERFUCKING LIGHTSABER ACTION

Nah, didn’t want to see it.  I saw this already.  It was pretty good.  I didn’t mind it.  It was okay.  I was not offended or horrified.  It wasn’t bad.

 

The Finest Hours

LOOK AT ALL THAT MOTHERFUCKING STORM ACTION

 

No, don’t know much about it, didn’t really wanna see it.  Hey, Disney — Mark Wahlberg and John C. Reilly and George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg called (Mark Wahlberg forgot he called the first time).  They want their mediocre storm movie from the 2000s that I never saw back.

 

The Big Short

LOOK AT ALL THAT MOTHERFUCKING WHITE GUY ACTION

 

I will probably will see this, because Brad Pitt wears glasses and has a beard.  Plus, I hate greed and corporations.  And how interesting does Brad Pitt look, anyways?  He looks like he could teach an art class at a local community college.  Still, not going to see this movie today.

 

Tonight, I wanted to see a 3-hour movie that didn’t start until 9:00pm on a Tuesday evening.  Yes, I am talking about…

THE HATEFUL EIGHT

LOOK AT ALL THOSE MOTHERFUCKING PEOPLE BOXES IN THE LOWER FOURTH OF THE MOVIE POSTER

 

I thought there were a fair amount of hats in the movie, but not enough to warrant the title “Hatful”.  Still, I liked the subtle nod to the Smiths record, as well as Kurt Russell’s character name Johnny Marr.

Speaking of subtle nods, I counted some of them.

  1. The movie takes place in a cold, snowy, inhospitable environment, like John Carpenter’s The Thing.
  2. The movie takes place with a reasonably large group of people stuck together in a small, enclosed space, who increasingly distrust and suspect each other, like John Carpenter’s The Thing.
  3. The movie prominently features Kurt Russell, the star of John Carpenter’s The Thing.
  4. The movie’s soundtrack is written by Ennio Morricone, who composed the soundtrack for John Carpenter’s The Thing.
  5. Part of the movie soundtrack was actually taken from an unused piece of the soundtrack to John Carpenter’s The Thing.

No, I didn’t look up #5 on some trivia page on the IMDB.  I have the soundtrack to John Carpenter’s The Thing on COMPACT DISC.  I *RECOGNIZED* that song.

HOW MUCH MOTHERFUCKING MONEY DID I SPEND ON CDs BACK IN THE DAY? A FAIR AMOUNT OF MONEY.

 

So, there are some hats in the movie.  And also, some hateful people.  I really don’t know how I’m supposed to have a lot of compassion or even interest for people that I find exceedingly unpleasant.  I didn’t really care about anyone.  Everyone was loud, annoying, and violent.  I imagine I would have a similar experience if I ever took up Quentin Tarantino’s offer to play paintball with him and Eli Roth in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.  Not gonna happen, fellas.

This felt good.  I blogged.  I did it.  If you’ll allow me one humorous gif I did not create, hey, Immortan Joe, what did you think of this, the 8th movie of Quentin Tarantino?

 

 

 

One thought on “The Hatful Eight

  1. Not my favourite either. I sat there wondering how long it would take for them to start killing each other and when Tatum Channing would be sprung on us. I was psyched to see Jennifer Jason Leigh again in anything but her main talent here seemed to be having gross teeth and looking like she knows how to take a punch. Zzz.

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