I Need Your Help!

********** UPDATE! **********

I had a look-see at SamuraiFrog’s lovely Godzilla Haiku Tumblr and noticed he has the ability to accept submissions.

So, I copied him and now have my own submission page. Thank you, SF!

***************************

I have started another Tumblr, Sidewalk Liquor.

It will consist of pictures taken of liquor bottles sitting/laying/shattered on the sidewalk.

No wine bottles, no beer bottles. Liquor only.

This is may by strangest and pointless idea ever. WON’T YOU PLEASE JOIN ME?

A Bar Game For The Solitary Drinker

I don’t really go to the bars that much. It’s great that people don’t smoke in them in Illinois any more, but I still don’t like them. I don’t really drink alcohol too much either (cakey chocolate treats are my primary vice), just the occasional beer now and then.

However, every once in a while I can go for a beer. I went out for a walk a few nights ago and decided to have a beer in the middle of it. There’s a bar about a mile from my house, which makes it a nice halfway point (Irish Times, if you must know).

Anyways, the few times I have popped in for a midwalk beer, I have had a relatively good time. I’ve heard some nice music, struck up a conversation with someone sitting next to me, etc.

This last time I was relaxing for a few minutes at Irish Times. I was witness to a conversation where this girl would not stop talking. It was amazing to me that so many words could be strung together that say so little. I do know this:

A) She is moving
B) She’s tough, and wouldn’t ask a guy to help her move, unless there was a couch involved
C) She has a rainbow comforter
D) She has a lot of body pillows on her bed (whatever those are)

So, I focused my attention elsewhere, well, ANYWHERE but the rainbow comforter woman.

To pass the time, I looked at the bottles sitting behind the bar and reversed their names (in my head, though my lips *might* have been silently moving).

If you’re a little bored at a bar, you may find yourself amused by this stupid little game.

Reversing the name can potentially change the contents of a bottle.

Example:

Chopin [vodka] turns into Nipohc. Hmm, sounds Japanese. A label of sake?

Red Stag reverses into the very satisfying Gats Der. I don’t know what that is, but I would like a cup.

Unfortunately, not all liquors survive the reversal in a happy state.

I don’t know that Yabmob Nigyrd is going to be on a shelf any time soon.

(Previously)

Be Forewarned: The Tip-Top-Tap Is No Longer Open

I had admired the signage of the Allerton Hotel on Michigan Avenue for quite some time. And who doesn’t love the alliterative name of its swanky lounge?

A couple weeks ago I was in the neighborhood, so I spontaneously decided to get a drink there (actually, I had spied it from the Hancock Observation room and it kindled in me the desire to down some al-kee-hol from a dizzying height).

Sadly, the Allerton’s concierge informed me that the lounge was closed in the 1960’s.

WHY IS THE TIP-TOP-TAP NOT STILL IN EXISTENCE?

Some Sobering Facts About Wine

Now that I have gotten the attention of the professional and amateur chemists of my blog readership with my impromptu quiz, I now feel I can address a serious problem.

Look at that. Isn’t it beautiful?

Some people call it 2,4,6-trichloroanisole.
The kids call it TCA.
The old folks call it C7H5OCl3
I like to call it Sheila.

How could such an angelic-looking, sweet, innocent compound have such an insidious effect on our lives, on our very world?

The answer may disgust you.
The answer may frighten you.
The answer may potentially neither disgust nor frighten you.

I, of course, speak of the embarrassing stench of cork taint.

Drink Names In Search of a Recipe

Mizbubs and Bubs are always busily brewing up new fanciful drinks at their well-appointed compound, among them the Don Ho Motherf*cker.

I don’t know that I have the mixological knowledge or inspiration to create my own drink, but I’ll try to contribute in my own fashion by providing drink names in search of a recipe.

Seeing as you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a cutely-named mixed drink, I imagine some of these already exist (I did try Googling them before including here, however).

The Apoplectic Lizard
The Merle Haggard
Behind The Deadly Wheel
The Golden Boner
Orange Squirrel
The Gender Bender
Ridin’ The Pony
The Sweaty Taint
Heavy Lifting
A Bloody Mess
Foo-Foo Fubar
THX-1138
Waukegan Dynamite