Splotchy Improves The Titles Of Movies Simply By Adding The Word Motherfucker

I had a lot of fun coming up with these. Probably a few more posts of these await you in the future.

Annie Hall Motherfucker

Cocoon Motherfucker

A Star Is Born Motherfucker

That’s Entertainment Motherfucker

I Know What You Did Last Summer Motherfucker

21 Grams Motherfucker

How Green Was My Valley Motherfucker

Prick Up Your Ears Motherfucker

Clambake Motherfucker

Tron Motherfucker

Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead Motherfucker

The Muppets Take Manhattan Motherfucker

A Clarification On My I Fucking Hate Celebrites Post

Here, another political video done by some celebrities:

Ron Howard’s Call To Action

You see, the video above works. Because it’s not someone attempting to direct your will one way or the other, solely based on some arbitrary status given to them by the popular culture.

They’re actually using their talents (writing/acting/directing) to attempt to create something of worth within their medium, in order to influence people. They are trying.

I guess what enraged me so much in my previous post was the stink of entitlement that wafted off of every actor in the video.

It made me recall the line Ed Begley, Jr. gave (playing himself) on the Simpsons, where he drove a car powered by his “own sense of self-satisfaction”.

So, not all celebrities are bad, self-satisfied. Not all of them are royalty. To clarify — fuck some celebrities, but not others.

Thank you for your time!

Wow, Do I Fucking Hate Celebrities

What’s more annoying than some overpaid famous people telling us plebs what to do?

Telling us what to do by telling us what not to do.

I just might not vote because of this piece of shit.

Fucking celebrities. Fuck them.

UPDATE:
Okay, so I watched the rest of the video. There is a twist, where the celebrities then cajole you, the viewer, into voting.

But I stand by my original statement. Fuck celebrities.

Nicknames For The Hollywood Elite

You’ve made it! You’re a big name in Hollywood! You’re respected by both the public and your peers.

Please don’t commit the faux pas of calling other Hollywood Illuminati by their names. You have to use their secret nicknames, or suffer the consequences.

Here’s a handy nickname guide when you first make the A-List.

01. Robert DeNiro – Bobby
02. James Caan – Jimmy
03. Russell Crowe – Rusty
04. Martin Scorsese – Marty
05. Robert Downey, Jr. – Bob
06. Robert Duvall – Mr. Chippers
07. Al Pacino – T.D. (Top Dog)
08. Madonna – Madge
09. Paul Le Mat – Paul (warning: not a member of the Hollywood elite!)
10. Ben Stiller – Sticky

The Writers’ Strike Is Killing Infotainment

…And I for one would like to thank the writers.

I caught some of the Golden Globes awards “show” last night on NBC. It puts the superfluousness of these awards in perspective when all the winners are announced in a spartan broadcast anchored by Access Hollywood fluffsters Nancy O’Dell and Billy Bush. Apparently, there was a press conference by the Hollywood Foreign Press carried live on other networks that was broadcast in advance of NBC’s show. I guess I was getting unnecessarily secondhand information from people I would be leery of asking for driving directions.

No glitz, no celebrities, just the occasional asinine comment from Billy Bush (“Entourage is a boutique show”?). By the way, I am considering using “Billy Bush!” as an interjection. And yes, according to his Wikipedia entry, he is related to Dubya. I feel like I have to tie this post into politics in some manner for all you Bush/Cheney scenesters that read this blog.

I think the only thing the 65th Golden Globes Reading-The-Winners ceremony was missing was the occasional cutaway of a leering Jack Nicholson in dark shades. I’d like to imagine he was at his kitchen table grinning widely at his TV. Oh, Jack, you devil!

A Reality Show You Probably Won’t See

As the Writer’s Strike enters its third week, I’m guessing that a lot of reality show ideas are being discussed by the television network heads as a (temporary?) replacement for fictional drama and comedy shows.

I have a reality show idea that I would love to see get made.

How about a reality show that follows a group of writers on strike?

Just thinkin’ about Hollywood,

Splotchy