Music To Read Lyrics By

The Gay Side Of Splotchy has been unceremoniously evicted from the jukebox on the upper right of this here blog.

Next up, I feel obliged to provide you with the songs I have been sporadically posting lyrics for. Why have I been posting lyrics from time to time?
[SHRUG]

If you don’t know the drill by now, go to the jukebox to start up the songs. The links below just take you to the lyrics. If you want to read along, you’d be best served by opening the links in a new window, so’s you don’t kill the song playing in your current window. Got it? Okay!

1. Camper Van Beethoven – Where The Hell Is Bill?
Just a nice silly song off their first album.

2. Bonnie Tyler – Total Eclipse Of The Heart
I had this goddamn song in my head, so I posted the lyrics. Now it’s in your head. How does it feel? I know, the lyrics aren’t complete. What am I to you, some sort of full-lyrics-posting man?

3. The Kinks – The Village Green Preservation Society
This song, ahh. It’s so much fun. I’d love to memorize it so I can sing along with it, but I prolly never will.

4. David Naughton – Makin’ It
I think when I posted the lyrics to this, I made a lot of people confused. This is the theme song from a short-lived disco sitcom starring David Naughton, who you might recognize from American Werewolf in London and some Dr. Pepper commercials from the 70’s. Mr. Naughton also sings this song. I never did actually see the show. I actually downloaded this song many moons ago from a newsgroup, where there was a competition to post the worst pop song ever written. I actually like this song a lot, but I have been known to have questionable tastes from time to time. You can judge the song for yourself.

5. Joy Division – Isolation
6. Jimmy Buffett – Cheeseburger In Paradise

I don’t know if anyone got what I was doing in this post, or if they did get it, thought it was funny. It made me laugh, so I guess that’s something. I felt like posting a song, then I thought I’d post Joy Division’s Isolation. I pasted in the lyrics, but they looked a little serious and depressing, and I wasn’t really bummed out at the time. So, I thought I’d cheer it up by interspersing lyrics from a Jimmy Buffett song. I found a picture of Buffett lookin’ right, Joy Division singer Ian Curtis lookin’ left, and the rest is blogging history, folks.

7. The Stooges – No Fun
If someone had a gun to your head and said, “Play me a song that is the best example of snotty-ass rock ‘n roll,” this song would likely save your life.

Happy Listening! Happy Reading!

No Fun

No fun my babe
No fun
No fun my babe
No fun
No fun to hang around
Feelin’ that same old way
No fun to hang around
Freaked out for another day

No fun my babe
No fun
No fun my babe
No fun
No fun to be alone
Walking by myself
No fun to be alone
In love with nobody else

Well maybe go out
Maybe stay home
Maybe call Mom on the telephone

Well come on
Well come on
Well come on
Well come on

No fun to be alone
No fun to be alone
Hang on
Don’t you lemme go
No fun to be alone
I said to be alone
I said to be alone

Now Ron, I say Ron
C’mon an lemme hear you tell em
Lemme hear you tell em
How I feel
I say lemme hear you
Tell em how I feel
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah

Well come on
Well come on
Well come on
Well come on

Cheeseburger In Paradise Isolation

Tried to amend my carnivorous habits.
Made it nearly seventy days,
Losin’ weight without speed, eatin’ sunflower seeds,
Drinkin’ lots of carrot juice and soakin’ up rays.

In fear every day, every evening,
He calls her aloud from above,
Carefully watched for a reason,
Painstaking devotion and love

But at night I’d have these wonderful dreams
Some kind of sensuous treat.
Not zucchini, fettuccini, or bulghar wheat,
But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat.

Surrendered to self preservation,
From others who care for themselves.
A blindness that touches perfection,
But hurts just like anything else.

Cheeseburger in paradise (paradise)
Heaven on earth with an onion slice (paradise)
Not too particular not too precise (paradise)
I’m just a cheeseburger in paradise

Isolation
Isolation
Isolation

Heard about the old time sailor men
They eat the same thing again and again
Warm beer and bread they said could raise the dead
Well it reminds me of the menu at a holiday inn

Times have changed for sailors these days
When I’m in port I get what I need
Not just Havanas or bananas or daiquiris
But that American creation on which I feed

Mother I tried please believe me,
I’m doing the best that I can.
I’m ashamed of the things I’ve been put through,
I’m ashamed of the person I am.

Cheeseburger in paradise, medium rare with muenster’d be nice
Heaven on earth with an onion slice.
I’m just a cheeseburger in paradise.

Isolation
Isolation
Isolation

I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well, good god Almighty which way do I steer

But if you could just see the beauty,
These things I could never describe,
These pleasures a wayward distraction,
This is my one lucky prize.

For my cheeseburger in paradise
Makin’ the best of every virtue and vice.
Worth every damn bit of sacrifice
To get a cheeseburger in paradise;
To be a cheeseburger in paradise.
I’m just a cheeseburger in paradise.

I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well, good god Almighty which way do I steer

Isolation
Isolation
Isolation

Makin’ It


I’m solid gold
I’ve got the goods
They stand when I walk
Through the neighborhoods

I’m makin’ it
I’ve got the chance
I’m takin’ it
No more, no more
Fakin’ it
This time in life
I’m makin’ it (ooh, ooh, ooh!)

Hello Uptown
Goodbye poverty
The top of the ladder
Is waiting for me

I’m makin’ it
I’ve got the chance
I’m takin’ it
No more, no more
Fakin’ it
This time in life
I’m makin’ it (ooh, ooh, ooh!)

Listen everyone here
This coming year’s gonna be my year

I’m as bad as they come
Number two to no one
I’ve got looks, I’ve got brains
And I’m breakin’ these chains

Make some room now
Dig what you see
Success is mine
‘Cause I’ve got the key

I’m makin’ it
I’ve got the chance
I’m takin’ it
No more, no more
Fakin’ it
This time in life
I’m makin’ it (ooh, ooh, ooh!)

Makin’ it (non-stop!)
Makin’ it (to the top!)
Makin’ it
I’m makin’ it

We Are The Village Green Preservation Society

We are the Village Green Preservation Society
God save Donald Duck, Vaudeville and Variety

We are the Desperate Dan Appreciation Society
God save strawberry jam and all the different varieties

Preserving the old ways from being abused
Protecting the new ways for me and for you
What more can we do?

We are the Draught Beer Preservation Society
God save Mrs. Mopp and good Old Mother Riley

We are the Custard Pie Appreciation Consortium
God save the George Cross and all those who were awarded them

We are the Sherlock Holmes English Speaking Vernacular
Help save Fu Manchu, Moriarty and Dracula

We are the Office Block Persecution Affinity
God save little shops, china cups and virginity

We are the Skyscraper Condemnation Affiliates
God save tudor houses, antique tables and billiards

Preserving the old ways from being abused
Protecting the new ways for me and for you
What more can we do?

We are the Village Green Preservation Society
God save Donald Duck, Vaudeville and Variety

We are the Desperate Dan Appreciation Society
God save strawberry jam and all the different varieties

God save the Village Green

Where The Hell Is Bill?

Well, maybe he went to get a sideways haircut
Maybe he went to get a stri-pehd shirt
Maybe he went to get some plastic shoes
Maybe he went to get some funny sunglasses

Where, where the Hell is Bill?

Well, maybe he went to get an Air Force parka
Maybe he went to get a Vespa scooter
Maybe he went to get a British flag
Maybe he went to go Mod Ska dancing

Where, where the Hell is Bill?

Well, maybe he went to get a mohawk
And maybe he went to get some gnarly thrash boots
Maybe he went to go ride his skateboard
Maybe he went to see the Circle Jerks

Where, where the Hell is Bill?
Where, where the Hell is Bill?
Where, where the Hell is Bill?
Where, where the Hell is Bill?