the continuing saga of …
THE BEAST OF BERWYN
You muster up all your faculties of lying into a single knot in the back of your throat.
“She’s my lady friend. She’s been having a bad time, but she’s going to get better. Please go easy on her.”
“Why was she discharging her weapon at you?” Bubs asks.
“She wasn’t shooting at me,” you plead. “I wasn’t even outside when the gunshots started. She was probably aiming at squirrels. She hates squirrels.”
Bubs scratches his chin, causing some greasepaint to flake off onto his desk. “Hmm. Maybe she wasn’t aiming for you. Maybe she was aiming for your neighbor, Mr. Floppy.”
Bubs leans back in his chair.
“Either way, your prior knowledge of the ay-LEGED crazy lady means I am going to have to get a statement from you. This may take an unnecessarily long while…”
HOURS (AND MANY LIES) LATER…
You are exhausted. Bubs shows no signs of slowing. He begins making a series of animal balloons, placing them strategically on his desk.