Answers and Questions

Enclosed please find answers to the five random questions posed by Bubs:

1. You’re stuck in a flesh-eating zombie apocalypse. Would you rather deal with Romero shambling zombies who are learning to use tools and weapons, or insensible but crazy fast Dawn of the Dead remake zombies? Compare and contrast.

This is a no-brainer for me (har-di-har har).

First, I have to set something straight. I’m going to have to say that if the undead that are trying to eat your brain are moving faster than an elderly woman with a walker, THEY ARE NOT ZOMBIES.

That point aside, I’d still have to go with the slow-moving braineaters.

I would probably freeze, scared witless, when confronted by some creature barreling down at me at full speed. If it was slower, I feel I could maybe handle the situation a little better.

And if zombies were starting learn how to do complex things like handling tools and weapons, perhaps they could also be reasoned with.

2. Who’s the first female cartoon or comic book character you had a crush on?

I actually had to think about this for a while. I’d have to say it would be Black Widow, primarily from her appearances in the Marvel comic Daredevil.

Here’s a list of her many charms.
a) She has dark auburn hair.
b) She has a killer body in tight-fitting dark clothing (imagine that — a comic book superhero female character with an outrageously voluptuous body in a tight-fitting costume)
c) Her real name is Natasha and she is Russian. Superman had his weakness in Kryptonite. Mine is women with eastern-European accents. And Natasha is the absolute sexiest female name ever.


3. What makes your wife/girlfriend/significant other a saint in regards to her relationship with you?

“Black Widow means nothing to me, honey, I swear!”

Well, there are many praises to sing, but to answer specifically your question of what makes her a “saint”…

She is incredibly supportive. I’ll say something is important to me, and she’ll be right there helping me make it happen.

As I’ve mentioned before, I have recurring problems with anxiety. She’s very patient when I have these episodes, probably more patient than she should be.

She tolerates me, let’s face it. She’s a deep, good-hearted person.

4. Batman or James Bond?

Though I would hate to have my parents killed as a young child, I’d say Batman all the way. He’s brilliant, moody, has a great costume, and carries just a whole vibe which is so much cooler than stupid James Bond. Plus, James Bond is a tool of the man. Batman is about doing what’s right.

5. If you could do anything in the world that you wanted to do (assuming you’re not already doing it now) what would it be? For a living, for fun, whatever.

a) My liberal conscience would like me to be a public interest lawyer.
b) If I could make a living doing music, that’d be nice, though I wouldn’t want to tour a lot, being away from my family.
c) I’m not sure if I would like making a living doing the stressful job of a film director, but I suppose I could take a whack at that, too. Ditto about not being away from the family over long stretches of time.

Thanks so much for these probing questions! Now it’s my turn to ask my own set of random questions.

1. Choose one superpower: super strength, super speed, or invisibility. Explain your choice.

2. What’s the weirdest music in your collection?

3. Name a place where you never have lived, but have always thought would be a good place to settle down.

4. Have you ever seen, or been in the presence of, a ghost?

5. What should be a crime that currently isn’t? What’s currently a crime that shouldn’t be?

I am tagging:


Bubs, feel free to answer these questions as well. I might take a whack at the ones Barbara asked you.



Goddesses Walk Among Us

You may be unaware of the fact that goddesses walk among us.

Did you know that a recent trip to the US by ten-year-old Sajani Shakya, one of Nepal’s three highest ranking living goddesses, nearly resulted in her loss of stature of godliness?

U.S. trip costs girl living goddess title (July 3rd, 2007)

KATHMANDU, Nepal, July 3 (UPI) — Ten-year-old Sajani Shakya’s visit to the United States apparently tainted her purity, forcing her to give up her the title of Nepal’s “Living Goddess.”

Goddess cleansed of U.S. taint
(July 19th, 2007)

BHAKTAPUR, Nepal, July 19 (UPI) — A 10-year-old Nepalese girl can retain her position as a living goddess despite having made a trip to the United States.

Sajani Shakya accompanied a documentary filmmaker to promote a movie about the Kumaris — prepubescent girls revered by Hindus and Buddhists in Nepal as living incarnations of a goddess.

Temple elders in Bhaktapur said the trip might have made her unclean, but they later said she would return to her life as a goddess after undergoing a ritual cleansing, the BBC reported.

Reconsidering Fantasy Role-Playing

As faithful readers of my blog will know, it is no secret that I have dabbled in the dark art of Dungeons and Dragons.

I must admit that I have been drawn again to the siren song of fantasy role-playing games (RPG).

However, I’d like to take a cautious step into the unfamiliar, blossoming world of other RPG games, to a world outside D&D, perhaps to a world without tragedy — where a gnome thief in his underpants getting bit by a rat and nearly dying is only a troubled teen’s fanciful nightmare.

At this point, I’m considering two possible options for my new RPG adventures.

I’m intrigued by RuneQuest, the RPG Royal Crown Cola to D&D’s Coke.

I have taken an interest in this particular game module.

I tremble at the description of the world I may be thrust in:

“Taint is evil. It is a corruption so deep that it warps the very plane of reality.”

I have one more fantasy RPG I am also considering — Werewolf: the Apocalypse. I am having some difficulties following the elaborate details of this wondrous game, but this particular entry caught my eye in the game’s House Rules:

Triatic Taint – This rule covers Wyrm-Taint, Wyld-Taint and Weaver-Taint. As described in the Player’s Guide to the Garou, Taint is a trait ranging between 1 and 5 dots. When sensory Gifts are used to detect Taint, the difficulty, normally left vague in the books, acts upon the following base of 9-Taint level. Thus a Fomor with 3 Taint is detected with a 6 difficulty unless other modifiers apply. STs and Assistants may determine what outside factors will affect this difficulty such as ambient triatic energies and assign a modifier at their discretion. Detecting a Gorgon is obviously much easier in the midst of a factory than in the middle of an insane asylum. Levels of Taint for various character types are listed in the FAQs relating to those character types, but a ‘generic’ possessed creature with no Autonomy trait can generally be assumed to have about 3 dots of Taint unless specified otherwise. Characters with the Touched Background also have one dot of Taint per level of the Background.

I’ll keep you informed as to my decision. As Marachi Zed Caracas, 3rd Level Ranger of Ooln once said, “T’aint a decision to be taken lightly, me lads.”

DPK On Stage

David Patrick Kelly spends a healthy amount of time acting on the stage.

Here are a few recent highlights.

Production: Snow In June
Dates: November 20 – December 28, 2003
Location: Loeb Drama Center, Cambridge, MA
DPK played: The Widow/The Doctor
More information:
American Repertory Theatre
Harvard Gazette article

The Widow

Production: Festen
Dates: April 9 – May 20, 2006
Location: Music Box Theatre, NYC, NY
DPK played: Poul
More information:
Broadway World

Opening Night

DPK, second from left

Production: The Glorious Ones
Dates: April 19 – May 20, 2007
Location: Pittsburgh Public Theater, Pittsburgh, PA
DPK played: Pantalone
More information:
Pittsburgh Public Theater
Creators Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty site

The Glorious Ones will have its New York premiere at Lincoln Center beginning October 11, 2007!

From what I can tell, DPK will reprise his role in the NYC run.

DPK, seated, wearing red

Who’s In Charge Here? – Rookie of the Year

Purpose: Determine a band’s leader by analyzing a publicity photo.

Disclaimer: A band’s inclusion on this blog reflects neither an endorsement nor a criticism of its music. This post is merely intended as a spotlight on the inner political workings of a collection of individuals who are in the midst of a cooperative, creative endeavor.

The Process:
You, dear reader, please answer the question, “Who’s in charge here?”

After sufficient discussion has taken place, a verdict can then be passed based on a majority vote.

Band: Rookie Of The Year
Genre: Acoustic Rock

The Verdict (UPDATED!)

The learning process continues. I think I will definitely need to recuse myself from any “Who’s In Charge Here?” votes, as my opinion is colored by the initial selection of the band photo (there will often be more than several to choose from, all with their own unique power dynamic).

So, with two votes, uncomfortably squatting Ron Wood lookalike dude wins.

A Hypothetical Person Of Distinction

What the hell are you doing here?

Michael Bolton: I’m here for my quote.

Your quote?

Michael Bolton: Yeah, my hypothetical quote.

Mr. Bolton, I’m afraid, though I bear you no ill will, I don’t consider you a person of distinction.

Michael Bolton: I’ve got stacks of awards, top-charting singles-

Yes, I know.

Michael Bolton: I’m nailing a Desperate Housewife.

Yes, well, Mr. Bolton, you see, the people in my hypothetical quotes series are dead.

Michael Bolton: David Foster Wallace isn’t.

He’s dead, he just doesn’t know it yet.

Michael Bolton: C’mon, man, I got loads of quotes. Here, listen to this: “You know you’re a twistin’ little girl, you know you twist so fine, c’mon and twist a little closer now, and let me know that you’re mine.”

Didn’t the Isley Brothers say that?

Michael Bolton: Huh?

Didn’t the Isley Brothers say that?

Michael Bolton: What?

Never mind.

Michael Bolton: So can I get my quote or what?

No. I am sorry. Truly I am.

Michael Bolton: You’ll be hearing from my lawyers.

Okay. Thanks for stopping by, I guess.

Some Sobering Facts About Wine

Now that I have gotten the attention of the professional and amateur chemists of my blog readership with my impromptu quiz, I now feel I can address a serious problem.

Look at that. Isn’t it beautiful?

Some people call it 2,4,6-trichloroanisole.
The kids call it TCA.
The old folks call it C7H5OCl3
I like to call it Sheila.

How could such an angelic-looking, sweet, innocent compound have such an insidious effect on our lives, on our very world?

The answer may disgust you.
The answer may frighten you.
The answer may potentially neither disgust nor frighten you.

I, of course, speak of the embarrassing stench of cork taint.