Happy Whatever Splotchy Says Day: Your Third And Final Assignment

Hi!

Are we already at the last assignment? Yes? Wow, my inflated sense of power and self-worth are already diminishing. Before these feelings completely leave my body, I will leave the following tasks for you. These are not required to be completed by today, but if it could happen over the next couple weeks, it would be appreciated.

Thanks.

SPLOTCHY SAYS:

Dr. Zaius, you will use your mad photoshopping skills to make me a “Call Me Splotchy” version of the pulp paperback copy you created (based on the Sleestak original). After it has been completed I will gladly contribute my own pulp story.

Bubs, you will have your picture taken in Vegas in your Elvis getup, either in a karate pose, or giving a karate kick.

Cowboy The Cat, you will find a public place in Carbondale on which you write “Splotchy Is Nifty”. It doesn’t have to be big, visible to the casual observer, and it doesn’t have to be there forever, etc. Extra points if you take a pic of it.

Tim, you will lend me your copy of Sonic Youth’s Rather Ripped.

SamuraiFrog, you will write a limerick that rhymes Carla Gugino and neutrino. An acceptable alternative to this is simply posting pictures of Carla Gugino and neutrinos (in the same post, obviously).

To the NYC bloggers meeting tonight (including FranIAm and Distributorcap): at some point during the festivities you will toast me, Splotchy!

The Idea Of Progress – you will dedicate next year’s The Idea Of Progress Day to me, Splotchy.

Tenacious S – you will add me to your blogroll! I was there before, and I will be there again!

Grant Miller – For one day, you will change your avatar to a picture of you in a Hawaiian shirt.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein – You will let me hold the Crunky.

Jin – you’re wearing my doodle. What more could I ask for?

Anandamide – You will wrap up your contest. The suspense is killing me!

The Drunken Severed Head – Three letters – DPK.

Jess – You’ll make one more taint post, for old time’s sake.

Dguzman – You will dedicate a small piece of the sidebar on your blog, where you will keep a picture of a fluffy cloud. This will potentially keep the winter blahs away for both you and your readers (well, me definitely).

To those not specifically given a task to complete, please add a comment to this post to indicate the largest mammal you believe Splotchy could physically subdue, using only his bare hands. People who have been given tasks are also welcome to comment on this as well.

Thanks to everyone who made this nonexistent holiday existent!

Happy Whatever Splotchy Says Day: Your Second Assignment

Hi everyone! Thanks to everyone who completed the first assignment. To those who have not yet done so, you have the rest of the day to complete it. In case you’re wondering, yes, I am able to touch my nose with my tongue.

Anyway, now onto our next assignment. The second assignment is a little more involved than the first.

SPLOTCHY SAYS:

Write a post on your blog that is completely ROT-13 encoded. The post can be about anything, but it must be fully ROT13-encoded (excluding any links or images — a ROT13’ed link/image won’t display or function properly).

I would recommend that you type up the post in regular text (on a text editor, in Blogger, wherever), and then take the entire text when you are done writing the post, and convert it. You can use the ROT13 encoder on my right sidebar, or if you want more room, you can do the same thing here.

Do not link to me in the post you create. If someone is confused by your post, simply reply in a comment “Splotchy told me to.”

When you create your special post in honor of Whatever Splotchy Says Day on your blog, please leave a comment here so I can know to check it out.

Also, please check back later for your third and final assignment.

Trg tbvat!

A Review Of A Tegan And Sara Show From Someone Largely Unfamiliar With Tegan And Sara

Hi kids!

I attended last night’s Tegan and Sara show at the lovely Portage Theater in Chicago. The show was sold out. What T&S megafan wasn’t able to score a ticket so that my ignorant ass could be at their concert? I don’t know. They weren’t there. Bwahahahaha!

I stopped at my friend’s house in Portage Park (he of the spare T&S ticket) and we had a beer. The opening act, Northern State, was set to start at 8:00pm. We weren’t in a big hurry, so a little after eight we then drove the ten minutes it took to get to the theater, found a parking spot and ambled in.

The Portage is a nice old moviehouse, which in my opinion isn’t the ideal venue for a rock ‘n roll show (I prefer a wide open floor). Still, there was enough space in front of the stage for the hardcore fans to get close.

Unfortunately the Portage did not serve beer, but the man at the refreshment counter indicated that would soon change. No beer, at a rock concert? Oh, man.

We went to sit down for a little bit of Northern State, which turned out to be a group consisting of three female rappers, a guitarist, some preprogrammed keyboards ‘n backbeats, and a live dude drummer. We soon got out of our seats and went down on the right side nearer to the stage, which gave us a pretty good vantage point for the proceedings.

Northern State reminded me a lot of the Beastie Boys. If I heard them correctly, one of the songs they played had actually been produced by Adrock. I didn’t dig them entirely, but there were a coupla songs that sucked me in. And hey, the last song had a bunch of swearing, and reminded me very much of my pseudo-Buddhist chant, so that was nice. We probably caught at least half their set. They seemed to be appreciative of the Chicago crowd, and retroactively unappreciative of the Detroit crowd from the previous night.

Then it was time for Tegan and Sara to hit the stage. In the two days between when I learned I was going to the show and when the show took place, I managed to listen to most of their album So Jealous. It took me several songs into the concert to really start enjoying it. I don’t know if it was them or me; odds are it was me. But by four or five songs into their set I was having a really good time (even without a beer buzz).

Here’s their setlist, more or less:

Song
Song
Song
Song
Song
Song
Song
Song
Song from So Jealous
Song
Song from So Jealous
Song
Speak Slow
Song from So Jealous
Song
Song

ENCORE
Song from So Jealous
Song from So Jealous
Song
Song

There were several songs I really, really liked, most I liked, and some that were just okay. My friend knew every song b