Internet Challenge #11

Hey, readers.

What’s nice about Vancouver, B.C.?

1 IC point for each nifty thing you can find about it (niftiness will be a subjective quality deemed by me, though you can sway my idea of it with the POWER of WORDS).

After four more challenges I will announce the award for the person with the highest IC point rating!


p0nk is walking the razor’s edge with these challenges. It seems like he is using MEMORY instead of THE INTERNET. Memory Challenge is next month, p0nk. For your noting of celebrities being listed on Wikipedia I give you 1 IC point (and another one for being first). Ah hell, okay, another one for the hockey team. And I find your vague memory of a childhood visit to a mysterious garden somehow poignant — another point. +4 for p0nk.

Beckeye gets a point for the 3737 restaurant factoid.

Comrade Kevin scores a point for the crazy Vancouver street pronunciation.

This is highly unusual, because Gifted Typist is Canadian and probably didn’t look ANY of her facts up on the Internet. Still, they were nifty. +8 IC POINTS.

Jin gives us three cool things about Vancouver:
Woman-Owned Tattoo Parlor
Vancouver Punk Scene
Severed Feet

The Imaginary Reviewer find this enchanting description for an IC Point:
“Majestic mountains, sparkling ocean, rainforests and beautiful foliage all four seasons make Vancouver one of the most beautiful cities in the world.”

Internet Challenge #10

Find me the metalest band in the universe.

Please feel free to show your work.


Jin gives us GWAR for 2 IC points:

Beckeye gives us Morbid Anal Frog for 1 scary IC point:

Domboy gives us Judas Priest! As Rob Halford says in the clip, “Breaking the what?!” Did all their concerts involve pop quizzes?

Randal Graves says Manowar. Hey, they will DIE FOR METAL.


So, it looks like

+2 IC Points for Jin
+1 point for Beckeye, Domboy, Randal G and p0nk.

Internet Challenge #9

Find me some awful fan fiction!

The worse, the better.

I’ll be judging entries based on a variety of traits, including but not limited to:

Grammar/Spelling mistakes
Narrative logic problems
Inappropriate erotic subtext
Frequent use of sound effects
Purple prose

If you submit a particularly bad entry, you may earn extra IC points.

As with the other challenges, you can’t cook up one of your own pieces of fan fiction to submit — you have to find one already floating in the Internet, stinking up the place.


Flannery Alden scores 2 points for being first, and finding Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy in a moment of tenderness:

Harry Potter Erotica
“No,” I edged my lips closer to his and gently kiss them, loving the taste of chocolate it possesses, probably from those chocolate frogs he loves and I felt him responding instinctively. Both of us pull away at the same time.

“I’m sad and miserable because I think…I’m in…in… love with you,” the words came out in a rush from my mouth. His face contains shock and his stormy grey eyes ask me to repeat what I just said.

“I’m in love with you although I shouldn’t be. You’re my best friend’s enemy and so you are my enemy too,”

Beckeye serves up a slab of:

American Idol erotica
“Jesus,” David groaned, sinking his fingers deep into his friend’s soft black hair.

Michael gripped David’s ass as he fell into a rhythm, in and out, in and out, in and out. Faster and faster. Tighter and tighter. Until David couldn’t think or breathe. He could barely stand. His whole body started to quake under the strain as he tried desperately to hold onto the moment.

“God, Mike, I can’t… God!”

SamuraiFrog dials into an interesting spin on Heroes. I am going to have give him an IC extra point for this entry’s ridiculously vile clunkiness (I didn’t know clunkiness could be ridiculously vile — thank you fan fiction!).

Heroes Erotica
Peter felt ashamed and dirty and excited when Nathan talked like that to him, and no matter what had happened between before Haiti and now, he had not forgotten: Nathan never failed to deliver when it came to their forbidden sexual relationship.

And now Nathan was giving him Claire. The last piece of the puzzle to this unattainable incestuous love triangle that Peter had only even dreamed about. He had been in love with Claire since Odessa. His mother, Angela Petrelli, must have dreamed it, must have told Nathan, because he’d never breathed a word of it to anyone. But he was still angry. Nathan shouldn’t have had her first. Nathan didn’t love her the way he did. If anything, she was Nathan’s possession. Just like he had been. Just like you still are, Peter reminded himself.

Peter felt that white hot anger churning in his belly, beneath the ache of his body’s demand for release: the last time he’d had sex was also with Nathan, before Haiti.

Jin gives us a tender Gore V. Bush (the man, not the slang word for vagina) moment
Gore V. Bush
“Whatever. Smarty-pants. You’re supposed to be helping me, here.” George interjected. “Offering bi-partisan support or whatever it is that you liberals do when you’re not chaining yourself to trees and whatnot in protest of stuff.”

“George,” the other man’s voice was so cool, so measured, that it gave the President pause for a moment. “You are this close to getting the remainder of this now-cold latte poured down the front of your shirt.” He smiled a smile that was anything but sweet, and severely lacking in his customary Southern charms. “Make one more ‘tree hugger’ crack. I dare you.” George promptly muttered something under his breath. “What was that, dear? I didn’t catch it.”

“You look real handsome tonight,” was George’s offhanded reply. “That’s all I said.”

“That’s what I thought you said.” Al said, not without triumph.

The two meandered along, ducking a strand of crudely-hung, multicolored lights, and continuing on up between two long rows of tall, full Balsam firs. “This one’s not bad.” Al gestured to one of the tall evergreens. George wrinkled his nose.

Jin, I kind of liked the Scooby Doo and Cthulhu piece — can’t give you a point for that one.

Internet Challenge #8

Pics of celebs eating hot dogs. Get going.

(corn dogs are also acceptable)


Beckeye scores two IC points for Vanessa Hudgens.

Bubs scores 5 IC points for this challenge!

John Kerry!

Nicole Richie


Some Guy scores a single IC point for another Obama pic

Another Obama pic from Bubs, raising his IC points for this post to 6!

Beckeye scores 4 MORE IC POINTS!

Jerry Lewis

Taylor Swift

George Clooney

Kelly Clarkson

Randal G sneaks in for an IC point for NYC Mayor Bloomberg

Holy crap, Mommy Lisa found this awesome Sigourney Weaver photo – 1 IC point for you!

p0nk scores two well-earned IC points for the following:

Martha Stewart

Fidel Castro

Chef Cthulhu scores three impressive IC points with the following:

Paris Hilton

Nikita Khrushchev

Marilyn Monroe

Flannery Alden serves up a pic of former Chicago Bear William “The Fridge” Perry (WTF is he doing eating at Nathan’s? Chicago dogs not good enough for you, Mr. Perry?!!!)

Three more from Jin!

Pam Anderson

Drew Barrymore

3 more pics from Bubs!

Vanessa Hudgens, Part 2

John McCain

Jason Mesnick (“The Bachelor”)


Track Listing For COVER ME!

There will be two “discs” for this mix — the first being the covers, and the second being the originals.

01 – The Small Hours – Metallica [randalg]
02 – Sweet Jane – Mott The Hoople [randalg]
03 – Mexican Radio – Celtic Frost [randalg]
04 – Stop Breaking Down – The White Stripes [randalg]
05 – Easy – Faith No More [randalg]
06 – California Man – Cheap Trick [randalg]
07 – The Village Green Preservation Society – Kate Rusby [drmvm]
08 – The Bourgeois Blues – Taj Mahal [drmvm]
09 – Do Re Mi – Ani DiFranco [drmvm]
10 – Back In The High Life Again – Warren Zevon [drmvm]
11 – Act Naturally – Loretta Lynn [drmvm]
12 – 10 Degrees and Gettin’ Colder – Nanci Griffith [drmvm]
13 – Cry Me A River – Aerosmith [p0nk]
14 – All Along The Watchtower – Jimi Hendrix [p0nk]
15 – Bridge of Sighs – George Lynch [p0nk]
16 – Effigy – Gov’t Mule [p0nk]
17 – (I Know) I’m Losing You – Richie Kotzen [p0nk]
18 – Voodoo Chile (Slight Return) – Stevie Ray Vaughn [p0nk]
19 – Ceremony – Galaxie 500 [andy]
20 – Blue Christmas – Low [andy]
21 – Flaming Telepaths – Espers [andy]
22 – Leaving Here – Motörhead [andy]
23 – Cast a Shadow – Yo La Tengo [andy]
24 – Indian Summer – Luna [andy]
25 – Gloria – Patti Smith [bill]
26 – Were You There When They Crucified My Lord? – Diamanda Galas [bill]
27 – Ave Maria – Nina Hagen [bill]
28 – (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction – The Residents [bill]
29 – MacArthur Park – Donna Summer [bill]
30 – Walk On By – The Stranglers [bill]
31 – Contact – Godzuki [splotchy]
32 – The Tide Is High – Blondie [splotchy]
33 – Speeding Motorcycle – Yo La Tengo [splotchy]
34 – Superstar In France – Lambchop [splotchy]
35 – Crazy – Violent Femmes [splotchy]
36 – American Woman – Butthole Surfers [splotchy]

01 – The Small Hours – Holocaust [randalg]
02 – Sweet Jane – Velvet Underground [randalg]
03 – Mexican Radio – Wall of Voodoo [randalg]
04 – Stop Breaking Down – Robert Johnson [randalg]
05 – Easy – Lionel Richie [randalg]
06 – California Man – The Move [randalg]
07 – The Village Green Preservation Society – The Kinks [drmvm]
08 – The Bourgeois Blues – Leadbelly [drmvm]
09 – Do Re Mi – Woody Guthrie [drmvm]
10 – Back In The High Life Again – Steve Winwood [drmvm]
11 – Act Naturally – Buck Owens [drmvm]
12 – 10 Degrees and Gettin’ Colder – Gordon Lightfoot [drmvm]
13 – Cry Me A River – Ella Fitzgerald [p0nk]
14 – All Along The Watchtower – Bob Dylan [p0nk]
15 – Bridge of Sighs – Robin Trower [p0nk]
16 – Effigy – Creedence Clearwater Revival [p0nk]
17 – (I Know) I’m Losing You – The Temptations [p0nk]
18 – Voodoo Chile (Slight Return) – Jimi Hendrix [p0nk]
19 – Ceremony – Joy Division [andy]
20 – Blue Christmas – Elvis Presley [andy]
21 – Flaming Telepaths – Blue Öyster Cult [andy]
22 – Leaving Here – The Birds [andy]
23 – Cast a Shadow – Beat Happening [andy]
24 – Indian Summer – Beat Happening [andy]
25 – Gloria – Them [bill]
26 – Were You There When They Crucified My Lord? – Johnny Cash [bill]
27 – Ave Maria – Jessye Norman [bill]
28 – (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction – The Rolling Stones [bill]
29 – MacArthur Park – Richard Harris [bill]
30 – Walk On By – Dionne Warwick [bill]
31 – Contact – Brigitte Bardot [splotchy]
32 – The Tide Is High – The Paragons [splotchy]
33 – Speeding Motorcycle – Daniel Johnston [splotchy]
34 – Superstar In France – East River Pipe [splotchy]
35 – Crazy – Gnarls Barkley [splotchy]
36 – American Woman – The Guess Who [splotchy]