Internet Challenge #11

Hey, readers.

What’s nice about Vancouver, B.C.?

1 IC point for each nifty thing you can find about it (niftiness will be a subjective quality deemed by me, though you can sway my idea of it with the POWER of WORDS).

After four more challenges I will announce the award for the person with the highest IC point rating!

UPDATE:

p0nk is walking the razor’s edge with these challenges. It seems like he is using MEMORY instead of THE INTERNET. Memory Challenge is next month, p0nk. For your noting of celebrities being listed on Wikipedia I give you 1 IC point (and another one for being first). Ah hell, okay, another one for the hockey team. And I find your vague memory of a childhood visit to a mysterious garden somehow poignant — another point. +4 for p0nk.

Beckeye gets a point for the 3737 restaurant factoid.

Comrade Kevin scores a point for the crazy Vancouver street pronunciation.

This is highly unusual, because Gifted Typist is Canadian and probably didn’t look ANY of her facts up on the Internet. Still, they were nifty. +8 IC POINTS.

Jin gives us three cool things about Vancouver:
Woman-Owned Tattoo Parlor
Vancouver Punk Scene
Severed Feet

The Imaginary Reviewer find this enchanting description for an IC Point:
“Majestic mountains, sparkling ocean, rainforests and beautiful foliage all four seasons make Vancouver one of the most beautiful cities in the world.”

Internet Challenge #10

Find me the metalest band in the universe.

Please feel free to show your work.

UPDATE:

Jin gives us GWAR for 2 IC points:

Beckeye gives us Morbid Anal Frog for 1 scary IC point:

Domboy gives us Judas Priest! As Rob Halford says in the clip, “Breaking the what?!” Did all their concerts involve pop quizzes?

Randal Graves says Manowar. Hey, they will DIE FOR METAL.

p0nk says Metallica. Here they are with the MOTHERFUCKING SAN FRANCISCO MOTHERFUCKING SYMPHONY.

So, it looks like

+2 IC Points for Jin
+1 point for Beckeye, Domboy, Randal G and p0nk.

Internet Challenge #9

Find me some awful fan fiction!

The worse, the better.

I’ll be judging entries based on a variety of traits, including but not limited to:

Grammar/Spelling mistakes
Narrative logic problems
Inappropriate erotic subtext
Frequent use of sound effects
Purple prose
Retardedness

If you submit a particularly bad entry, you may earn extra IC points.

As with the other challenges, you can’t cook up one of your own pieces of fan fiction to submit — you have to find one already floating in the Internet, stinking up the place.

UPDATE:

Flannery Alden scores 2 points for being first, and finding Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy in a moment of tenderness:

Harry Potter Erotica
“No,” I edged my lips closer to his and gently kiss them, loving the taste of chocolate it possesses, probably from those chocolate frogs he loves and I felt him responding instinctively. Both of us pull away at the same time.

“I’m sad and miserable because I think…I’m in…in… love with you,” the words came out in a rush from my mouth. His face contains shock and his stormy grey eyes ask me to repeat what I just said.

“I’m in love with you although I shouldn’t be. You’re my best friend’s enemy and so you are my enemy too,”

Beckeye serves up a slab of:

American Idol erotica
“Jesus,” David groaned, sinking his fingers deep into his friend’s soft black hair.

Michael gripped David’s ass as he fell into a rhythm, in and out, in and out, in and out. Faster and faster. Tighter and tighter. Until David couldn’t think or breathe. He could barely stand. His whole body started to quake under the strain as he tried desperately to hold onto the moment.

“God, Mike, I can’t… God!”

SamuraiFrog dials into an interesting spin on Heroes. I am going to have give him an IC extra point for this entry’s ridiculously vile clunkiness (I didn’t know clunkiness could be ridiculously vile — thank you fan fiction!).

Heroes Erotica
Peter felt ashamed and dirty and excited when Nathan talked like that to him, and no matter what had happened between before Haiti and now, he had not forgotten: Nathan never failed to deliver when it came to their forbidden sexual relationship.

And now Nathan was giving him Claire. The last piece of the puzzle to this unattainable incestuous love triangle that Peter had only even dreamed about. He had been in love with Claire since Odessa. His mother, Angela Petrelli, must have dreamed it, must have told Nathan, because he’d never breathed a word of it to anyone. But he was still angry. Nathan shouldn’t have had her first. Nathan didn’t love her the way he did. If anything, she was Nathan’s possession. Just like he had been. Just like you still are, Peter reminded himself.

Peter felt that white hot anger churning in his belly, beneath the ache of his body’s demand for release: the last time he’d had sex was also with Nathan, before Haiti.

Jin gives us a tender Gore V. Bush (the man, not the slang word for vagina) moment