Category Archives: adopt-an-actor

Adoption: Always An Option

It seems like only yesterday in 2007 when I called on some kind soul of the Internet to adopt David Warner. Alas, none answered the call.

David Warner, circa 2009. Note the despair.

Yet, in the final hours of 2010, when all hope seemed to be lost, you stepped up and opened your heart and home! To be more accurate, Scott of the LATEANDSOON Group did! (The rest of you did nothing, honestly.)

Congrats, Scott and David!

Happy Adopt-An-Actor Day!

My attention has been diverted a little lately, but not enough to ignore the new holiday I created.

For those who have already adopted an actor, please dedicate a post today to them. It can be a videoclip, description of a favorite performance, maybe just a picture. It’s up to you to decide.

And for you thespian empty-nesters out there, please consider adopting an actor. All that is required is announcing your intent to adopt on your blog, and letting me know about it. You may want to check the adoption roster to make sure your actor has not already been adopted.

Who is my adopted actor, you ask?

Why it’s none other than the wonderful David Patrick Kelly.

I’ll use my Adopt-An-Actor Day post to run down his career in films and television.

When I started the Adopt-An-Actor program, I said that I didn’t expect an adoptive parent to see every single thing their adoptee had been in. You’ll see that I haven’t seen a lot of DPK’s work, but my support and affection for him is nevertheless genuine and unwavering.

The Warriors (1979)
Ooh, mama. What an awesome performance. He was the best part of the movie, by far.

Sanctuary of Fear (1979) (TV) (uncredited)
Didn’t see it.

American Playhouse – Working (1982) (TV)
Didn’t see it. Apparently, a musical adaptation of the Studs Terkel book. Sounds interesting.

Hammett (1982)
Didn’t see it.

48 Hrs. (1982)
He was great as Luther. He was so angry and abusive towards Eddie Murphy and Nick Nolte, but then in his final scenes you see he’s very distraught about his girlfriend being taken hostage. He didn’t have a lot of screentime, but he came across with a strong character.

Dreamscape (1984)
I haven’t seen this movie in a long time. My guess is that it hasn’t aged well, but I loved it when it was playing non-stop on pay TV. DPK was scary and cool. He had some creaky dialogue that he had to deliver, but in his hands it sounded good. He had a nice moment giving a little monologue on a dream subway, swinging nunchucks, ending with “In this world, Alex, you’re nothing. And me, I’m God.” Just as in 48 Hours, what starts as an aggressive, unsympathetic character becomes a little tragic near the end.

Tales from the Darkside (1984) (TV)
I saw at least part of this, though my memory of it has faded. DPK is the star of the episode, and I think he plays a man who slowly loses his identity, and winks out of existence at the end. I guess it’s appropriate I can’t remember it.

Miami Vice (1985) (TV)
Didn’t watch this show.

Commando (1985)
Oh, Sully. Yet another great performance. There was really no redeeming traits in this character. It’s hard to be poignant when you’re hanging upside-down, held by the pantleg by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Moonlighting (1985) (TV)
I sort of remember seeing this. I believe that the episode DPK was in sort-of went crazy at the end, where they sort of broke down the fourth wall and we saw Moonlighting behind-the-scenes, or some such thing. I recall DPK being the heavy, and Whoopi Goldberg was in it too. I think the final shot of DPK and Whoopi had them smiling as they were walking out, then it abruptly changed to a scowl. Why am I bothering you with this? Sorry.

Our Family Honor (1985) (TV)
Didn’t see it.

The Misfit Brigade (1987)
Didn’t see it.

Spenser: For Hire (1987) (TV)
Never watched this show.

ABC Afterschool Specials – Date Rape (1988) (TV)
Didn’t see it. Yikes.

Cheap Shots (1989)
Nope, didn’t see.

CBS Summer Playhouse – B Men (1989) (TV)

Penn & Teller Get Killed (1989)
This was a really weird movie. It was sort of a narrative, but they kept on yanking you out of the story. It was kind of sloppy, intentionally so, I think. I had thought there was some commentary on DPK’s role in The Crow. At the time I had seen this, I thought Brandon Lee had died by a blank fired by DPK’s gun, which I learned later to not be the case.

Wild at Heart (1990)
I saw this, but I can’t remember him in it. All I can see in my head is the grinning menace of Willem Dafoe’s Bobby Peru.

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)
Andrew Dice Clay kept me away.

Twin Peaks (1990-1991) (TV)
I saw a couple episodes, but I don’t think DPK was on it yet. I don’t remember him from it, at any rate.

A Marriage: Georgia O’Keeffe and Alfred Stieglitz (1991) (TV)
Didn’t see.

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (1992) (scenes deleted)
Didn’t see.

Malcolm X (1992)
I saw it, but I don’t remember DPK from it.

Exterior Night (1993)

Ghostwriter (1992-1993) (TV)

The Crow (1994)
I saw it, but don’t remember it very well. I don’t recall DPK having an awful lot of screentime. I was bummed out about the Brandon Lee accident.

Crooklyn (1994)
I didn’t like this movie too much. There was a stylistic thing Spike Lee did in the middle of the movie that didn’t really work for me, and it was kind of obnoxious. I remember DPK from it, one particular shot of him playing an organ and wearing very thick glasses.

Cafe Society (1995)
Didn’t see it.

Heavy (1995)
Didn’t see it.

Flirting with Disaster (1996)
He was one of the best parts of this movie. I was very happy to see him in a movie again.

The Funeral (1996)
An Abel Ferrara movie I haven’t seen. I have heard it’s good, just haven’t seen it.

Last Man Standing (1996)
Another Walter Hill movie for DPK! (The Warriors and 48 Hrs. were the previous two). Didn’t see this, mostly because I was sick of Bruce Willis.

Trojan War (1997)

Twelfth Night, or What You Will (1998) (TV)
Didn’t see.

Mad About You (1998) (TV)
Saw this a few times, but didn’t see his episode.

In Too Deep (1999)
Didn’t see.

Songcatcher (2000)
Didn’t see.

K-PAX (2001)
Kevin Spacey kept me away from this one.

Personal Velocity: Three Portraits (2002)
Didn’t see.

Hack (2002) (TV)
Didn’t see.

Justice (2003)
Didn’t see.

Third Watch (2005) (TV)
Never watched this.

The Longest Yard (2005)
Didn’t see it. Adam Sandler kept me away.

Flags of Our Fathers (2006)
I like a lot of Clint Eastwood films, I just didn’t see this one. DPK plays Harry S. Truman.

Babylon Fields (2007) (TV)
Didn’t see.

Kidnapped (2007) (TV)
Didn’t see.

Gardener of Eden (2007)
Didn’t see.

Law & Order (2008) (TV)
Didn’t see.

Law & Order: Criminal Intent (2008)
I actually was flipping channels and caught some of this. It made me smile.

March 10th Is Adopt-An-Actor Day

Hey! YOU! Yeah, you.

Did you already adopt an actor? Are you listed on the adoption roster?

Or are you not aware of the wonders of adoption?

The number of needy actors is not lessening, but adoptions have alarmingly decreased. Also, some actors who have been adopted have been, I’m sad to say, neglected.

It’s never too late to adopt, and it’s never too late to treat your children with the respect and love they deserve.

That’s why I am declaring March 10th to be Adopt-An-Actor Day ™.

For those who have already adopted, please dedicate a post on your website/blog to your adoptee(s). For those still actorless, please consider this holiday as an opportunity to reach out and care for a thespian-in-need.

Thank you.

P.S. Why March 10th? It’s Chuck Norris’ birthday, obviously.

Let’s Make It To Fifty, A Nice Round Number With A Five In It

If my current count is correct, we have a total of 46 actors adopted thus far as part of our ongoing program — that’s 48 minus 2 actors returned to the orphanage.

Would any of you kind people step up and push us to the completely arbitrary round number of fifty?

Peace and Love,


P.S. The iSplotchy would never treat actors with the brutal viciousness displayed by Doctor Monkey Von Monkerstein. Vote iSplotchy! For the children! For the actors! For the future!

Adopt An Actor Leaps The Language Divide

I’m very proud to announce our very first adoption in a non-English language blog!

German blogger Julius Firefly has adopted the Joss Whedon regular Jonathan M. Edwards.

As Julius Firefly writes, “Character actor and an actress to adopt is at present all the rise up in the Blogosphaere. Began this ‘ schauerliche pleasure on I, Splotchy.” (English translation courtesy of the always “reliable” babblefish).

To new and prospective adoptive parents, I say:

Seja bem-vindo(a)!

DPK On Stage

David Patrick Kelly spends a healthy amount of time acting on the stage.

Here are a few recent highlights.

Production: Snow In June
Dates: November 20 – December 28, 2003
Location: Loeb Drama Center, Cambridge, MA
DPK played: The Widow/The Doctor
More information:
American Repertory Theatre
Harvard Gazette article

The Widow

Production: Festen
Dates: April 9 – May 20, 2006
Location: Music Box Theatre, NYC, NY
DPK played: Poul
More information:
Broadway World

Opening Night

DPK, second from left

Production: The Glorious Ones
Dates: April 19 – May 20, 2007
Location: Pittsburgh Public Theater, Pittsburgh, PA
DPK played: Pantalone
More information:
Pittsburgh Public Theater
Creators Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty site

The Glorious Ones will have its New York premiere at Lincoln Center beginning October 11, 2007!

From what I can tell, DPK will reprise his role in the NYC run.

DPK, seated, wearing red