Category Archives: goddammit



This is a post about me. I’m trying to make myself feel better. I don’t really like talking about personal stuff too much, but since I am thinking of little else besides what’s on my mind, I figure I would unload on anyone reading this.

I can be a pretty anxious fellow. I don’t handle stress that well. I guess I have struggled with anxiety all my life.

I’m doing something about it now. I am taking some anti-anxiety medication. I’m seeing someone to talk about it.

My problems are not earthshaking problems. I mean, they’re huge in my mind, in my emotional mind, at least. But they’re not that big, intellectually speaking. There is rain forecasted for Saturday and Sunday this weekend. That’s what got me all worked up now — that’s what has my anxious mind firing on all cylinders.

We have had seepage in our basement several times in the last few months, most recently last Thursday. That fucking basement is the definition of anxiety and stress and terror for me. I know, I know, compared to most any other problems, it’s not that much. We have living space down there, so that’s one thing. If we didn’t have living space there, *maybe* I wouldn’t be so freaked out about it (but I doubt it).

The last two days I have been obsessively checking,,, (okay, not that one), etc. I’m constantly checking for updates on the weather situation. I guess I’m doing it in hope that the situation will mellow out, that the predicted amount of rainfall will decrease. If that happens, I feel a little better. If the forecast changes to be for heavier rain, I get more upset. If the forecast does not change at all, I keep on going back until it changes. Holy shit it’s a fucking awful cycle I get myself into.

Oh shit, I’m a fucking prisoner to my anxiety. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.


We are doing something about it. On May 11 we are having the perimeter of our basement dug up to lay down drain tiles, and we will have a sump pump put in.

Yesterday I bought some bigass rain boots, so next time we *do* get seepage (hopefully not this weekend), I won’t be traipsing through the standing water in my sneakers.

And, like I said, I’m trying to deal with my (sometimes) crippling anxiety.

What about it is so goddamn terrifying for me about the seepage? I don’t know — I have this idea of having a personal space, which unfortunately includes the fucking basement. When water comes through, I feel like my personal space is being violated. I feel like I am losing control, which is a feeling I really can’t stand. I can get all funky when I get sick, because of the same feelings of loss-of-control.

The anticipation of the seepage is in some ways worse than dealing with it. Oh, don’t get me wrong, dealing with it can be pretty fucking awful, too. I have had a couple meltdowns during the seepage situation when the rain just WOULD. NOT. STOP. FALLING. I didn’t scream at the sky, but I certainly thought about it.

The way we did it last time was MizSplotchy was handling the seepage in the basement, while I was outside trying to get some standing water away from the house. A lot of rain fell in a short period of time last Thursday, so there was a lot of standing water. I felt a *lot* better being outside getting water away from the house, rather than working downstairs. It was kind of that whole personal space thing again. By dealing with the water outside, I was defending our personal space, as opposed to coping with my space being violated. Weird, maybe, but true.

We have a couple pumps that we can use, with attachments for garden hoses. MizSplotchy just picked up another 100 foot hose, as well as some hose wranglers. I think tonight I will probably get everything set up for the possibility of seepage. I might go to Home Depot later today to try and get some cement to seal any cracks I can find in our sidewalk. I AM SERIOUS ABOUT NOT WANTING RAIN IN MY HOUSE NOW. I AM VERY SERIOUS.

I have bothered my family with my anxiety regarding this weekend’s rain. And now I am bugging you.

Sorry, phew, but it helps me to write it out. I’m looking forward to the sump pump — if it truly does fix our basement problem, I can find some other stupid shit to get worked up about.



How Douchebaggery Killed Halloween

Freaky Frights on Forest, which I lovingly documented here, might be over.

Earlier this month I complained that Freaky Frights was only up for a few days this year, as opposed to prior years, when the wonderfully grotesque displays were viewable for several weeks.

Well, it turns out there’s a reason the schedule was limited, as I found this posted today on the Freaky Frights website:
The Things That Killed Freaky Frights

There are so few people in the world that care about things deeply, that want to make the world a more interesting place. And they get squashed.

Happy Halloween.

In Need Of Medical Attention

I can already tell this is going to be a really rough day at work. I might need some treatment later.

Dean & Britta – Night Nurse

UPDATE! (12:56pm)

Wow, this day is even worse than I had initially thought! Send in Dr. Feelgood!

Mötley Crüe – Dr. Feelgood

UPDATE! (3:19pm)

The day is still stucky, and Dr. Feelgood has stolen all my pain pills. Oh, doctor! doctor!

Thompson Twins – Doctor! Doctor!

UPDATE! (5:02pm)

I’m still here! I’m angry! I’m still not having a good day! Send in Dr. Rock!

Ween – Dr. Rock

UPDATE! (6:07pm)

I’m still here, and will be probably until 7:45pm or so. But I took my headphones out of the computer and I’m listening to music. So screw medicine.

The Pixies – Debaser

Apples In Stereo – Signal In The Sky

Pizzicato Five – Twiggy Twiggy

McDonald’s And Home Invasion

I think we are done with McDonald’s. We are most likely done with MSNBC as well.

We were on our way back from getting two out of three kids’ haircuts at the Oak Brook Mall.

We decided to stop off at McDonald’s for lunch. Now I know there are plenty of valid criticisms one can level at McDonald’s.

A friend of MizSplotchy’s loaned the book Fast Food Nation to us, and I read a bit. But then I put it down. I haven’t seen Supersize Me, the Morgan Spurlock film about how just one month of McDonald’s food had a severe impact on his health. I really have nothing to defend this avoidance I seem to have, but say I was willfully ignorant. We don’t eat it that often, but we do eat it occasionally.

Anyways, if you don’t know, McDonald’s headquarters is actually in Oak Brook, Illinois. The McDonald’s we were eating at was a more upscale restaurant (as upscale as a McDonald’s can be, I guess). You could tell that they took greater care in presenting a nice environment, because it was literally right in front of their corporate offices.

So, we get our food and sit down. There are plasma TV screens everywhere. There is one on the wall behind MizSplotchy, that my youngest son and I are directly facing. There’s a huge circular bank of televisions in the middle of the restaurant that MizSplotchy and my other two kids have a perfect view of.

It’s 12:00pm on a Saturday. The place is filled with nametagged people from some convention, and assorted families. A fair amount of young kids. Most of the televisions were tuned to the Disney Channel, which isn’t a surprise. The televisions that weren’t showing Disney were showing MSNBC.

Here’s where it gets really troubling for me. My wife noticed what they were showing on MSNBC. The sound was off, but one could see black and white security footage of what appeared to be a home invasion. Some people come in and knock a women down to the floor, by hitting her in the head with a gun. Someone shoots a gun into a person laying on the floor.

Okay, that’s just awful. It’s awful one time. But they don’t stop there. They show it again. And again. They zoom in so you can get a better look as the gun makes contact with the woman’s head.

The TV that my youngest son is directly in front of is tuned to this channel. I see my other two kids’ eyes hit upon the screens above them also tuned to MSNBC. My wife and I start getting really upset, really quickly.

She attempts to go up to tell the employees what is happening, but no one is concerned. There are customers that need food. The manager ignores her. She follows someone else and tries to get them to listen to her. She comes back and I get up. Probably about five or six minutes transpired in the time it took for us to realize what they were showing to us walking out the door. And in that time, I kid you not, this video was played at least seven or eight times. My wife and the kids headed out, as an employee was walking over with a remote control. She said she couldn’t change the channel and could only turn it off. I said, well, turn it off! I tried asking her, “Don’t you see? Don’t you see how this is not appropriate?” Then I left.

So here are my thoughts:

So, if it was September 11th, and we were seeing buildings topple and people screaming, etc., that’s one thing. I would be concerned with my kids seeing the disturbing images, etc., but it’s a world event, it’s news that needs to be told. But I tried looking up what they were showing. I don’t know what it was. I don’t know how it was relevant to anything. What were they doing replaying this video? Why were they doing it? Maybe it was worthwhile, but seeing it with the sound off and the images of brutal violence being done struck me as sensationalist garbage. On a Saturday afternoon. FUCK YOU, MSNBC.

Fuck you for making me feel like an asshole for saying televised brutal violence is not appropriate on a Saturday afternoon with a room full of kids. Fuck you for not listening. Fuck you for not caring.

The employees could have reacted better, but they are running on the hamster wheel that you have built. I have no doubt that these employees have feelings, opinions and humanity, but they have to supply the almighty burger during their time with you. Anything else is grounds for termination. FUCK YOU, MCDONALD’S. And FUCK YOU for all the other reasons that so many people have documented, but I have been too chickenshit to see.

Fuck me for supporting this system. I’ll try to do better. I’ll try.

This Post Should Have Been Written On A Mac

Yay! – We picked up a Macbook Pro laptop today!

Boo! – I couldn’t figure out how to get it to connect to my wireless router!

Yay! – The laptop can connect to the ‘Net when I hook it directly to the router via an Ethernet cable!

Boo! – Who gives a flying f*ck that I can connect to the Internet via an Ethernet cable! It’s a f*cking laptop! I want to connect wireless!

Yay! – I like John Hodgman, the witty gentleman who plays the PC in those goddamn Mac ads!

Boo! – I don’t like that Mac guy, the guy that was in the presumably-shitty new Die Hard movie. My problems are all your fault, stupid guy whose name I won’t look up!


So, now you’re thinking, well, why didn’t he just post using the Ethernet connection? You’re just like that asshead Mac guy, aren’t you?!!


Hot and Icky

So, despite being aware of the imminent arrival of numerous cicadas yesterday and today, I decided *not* to mow the lawn this past weekend.

And, now I just get off the phone with My Lady and she says I need to sweep the sidewalk in front of the house when I get home, because there are so many bugs on it.

If there are that many cicadas on the sidewalk, there will be double that in each square foot of our yard.

It is going to be one hot, icky grass trimming tonight.

Image Hosting Woes

Yesterday, I noticed that some of the pics I uploaded to Image Shack were not rendering. I have occasionally used Image Shack in the past to host pictures for use with eBay, etc..

I realize now that having Image Shack as an image provider for my blog might not be a good idea. I guess having the word ‘Shack’ in their company name should have been a red flag to me.

So, last night I went through all the pictures in my posts and moved them to my website, which, as of today, seems to be under a Denial of Service (DoS) attack. So, now all my images are failing to render.

Would someone please work the kinks out of this piece-of-crap Internet for me?