Category Archives: swearing

Motherfuckin’ Mattress Giant

In times of great stress, I sometimes turn to profanity.

A while ago, I made the jingle to Mattress Giant better by adding some colorful language:

Look for my modifications in brackets. You’ll just have to imagine me swearing, as the original jingle has not been altered in the above clip.

When you’re looking for that ooh-ahh feel,
[Motherfuckin’] Mattress Giant
When you want that ooh-ahh deal,
We’ve got the best price
For that ooh-ahh bed [Motherfuckers],
It’s only at Mattress Giant
Ooh-ahh [motherfucker]
Ooh-ahh [motherfucker]
Only at Mattress Giant, Ooh-ahh
Only at Mattress Giant, Ooh-ahh

Splotchy Improves The Titles Of Movies Simply By Adding The Word Motherfucker

I had a lot of fun coming up with these. Probably a few more posts of these await you in the future.

Annie Hall Motherfucker

Cocoon Motherfucker

A Star Is Born Motherfucker

That’s Entertainment Motherfucker

I Know What You Did Last Summer Motherfucker

21 Grams Motherfucker

How Green Was My Valley Motherfucker

Prick Up Your Ears Motherfucker

Clambake Motherfucker

Tron Motherfucker

Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead Motherfucker

The Muppets Take Manhattan Motherfucker

Son Of Even More ROT13’ed Swearwords

At this time of year, I ask myself, what am I thankful for?

I am thankful for profanity.

Pop the following entries in the decoder on the right sidebar to give thanks.

(Feel free to go to rot13.com for a larger decoder window)

1. Urer’f pbpx va lbhe zbhgu!
2. Bu, gur fuvg cnvaf. Gur fuvg cnvaf!
3. Urezncuebqvgr’f Onyyf!
4. Zbygra fcvqre gvgf!
5. Znl n enoovg shpx lbhe rlrubyr jvgubhg gur hfr bs n ohaal pbaqbz!
6. ¡Ubyn, Frñbe Cvfflcnagf!
7. Srngure qhfg zl onyyfnpx, Qhxr bs Penccrel!
8. Unir n ovgr bs qvatyroreel prerny, lbh fueviryrq zhzzl qvpx!
9. Lbh qrenatrq yvggyr shpxvat avccyravooyre!
10. Qbaxrl gheqf!

Even More ROT13’ed Swearwords

Hey kids, it’s time for some more swearwords! Pop them in the decoder on the right sidebar for delightful profanity.

(Feel free to go to rot13.com for a larger decoder window)

01. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHPXREL
02. N pbpx-n-qbbqyr shpx-lbh zbeavat gb lbh, Qvyqb Tenaqr
03. By’ Taneyl Gvg Rlrf
04. Sngurnq yvire-rngvat znttbg-shpxvat oneanpyr pbpxfhpxre
05. Jbeguyrff nff-fgnvarq fngva fubegf zbgureshpxre
06. Qvzjvg sybjre-ybivat srghfonatre
07. Url, Nffubyr!
08. Lrnu, lbh! NFFUBYR!
09. Fjrngl natel shpxyrff ybfre
10. Tenil fuvg oebja

Who’s Ready For Some More ROT13ed Swear Words? I Sure As Fuvggvat Am!

We started this fun here. Let’s continue the joy and love!

I’ll repeat the verbiage from my original post, for those who have forgotten the spiel.

A list of ROT13-encoded swear words.

Pop them in the Input box of the ROT13 Decoder to the right and hit the “En/Decode input” button. I personally prefer decoding the words one at a time, as that adds to the excitement and sexual tension.

I suppose you could try guessing them first, if that’s your inclination, but this post is more about the swearing than the quizzing.

1. shpxjvg
2. ternfl-nffrq tbbq-sbe-abguvat zbaxrl gvgf
3. Bu, pbpx!
4. shpx-n-qhpx
5. V tbg gur fybccl fuvgf
6. gvtug cnagf jrnevat zbaxrlsvatrerq pbecfrshpxre
7. qvegl onyyf fhpxvat wrexbss
8. fcbbtr-jenatyre
9. cvff ba lbhefrys, nffgbnq
10. hShpx

How To Spot An Asshole

If you’re in the middle of a large crowd and you want to separate the assholes from the non-assholes, simply loudly yell “Hey, Asshole!”

If anyone turns around to look at you, they are probably an asshole.

This post was brought to you by The Blog Cuss-O-Meter, as seen here, here and here.

(I got a fucking measly 9.2 percent!)

UPDATE!

Hey, I just redid my Cuss-O-Meter and now I am up to 9.3 percent!

I’m so happy I’m shitting rainbows!