Meet the Parents
January 28, 2001

This will be the saddest of the Davis reviews thus far.

First, the movie. There's not many things that bring me into a cinematic melancholy quite like a bad comedy. This movie was just plain not funny. It's sometimes very fun to sit back and laugh at a bad Davis Theater drama, but how you can laugh at bad comedy? You can only sit back bewildered and ask why Hollywood has betrayed you YET AGAIN. You munch on candy, but it tastes like poison. The flickering images burn your retina, all the while the darkness of the theater enshrouds you like a smelly blanket and....

The Davis has changed. It has changed! I have briefly mentioned before the existence of the dreaded "Davis Art." The Davis Art was usually Theater #4, one theater out of a total of four that was dedicated to showing "art" movies. The regular theaters were $2.50, the Davis Art was $5.50 (then more recently $6.00).

In the past few months, the Davis Art has spread like a malignant growth. Theater 4 stopped showing art movies, and Theaters 2 and 3 became the "Davis Art" (that's 50 percent of total theaters for all you math students!).

On the night I went to see Meet the Parents, Theaters 2, 3 and 4 were all showing Davis Art movies. Theater 1 was alternately showing Charlie's Angels and Meet the Parents. One sole theater showing second-run movies! I don't wanna pay six bucks to see Kevin Costner nuke Cuba in 13 Days! I wanna pay $2.50 to see Arnold Schwarzeneggar get cloned in The 6th Day!

Yes, the owner of the theater has to make money and all that crap, but I dunno, it heralds the end of an era for me. What are the odds of a film like Anaconda coming here now? I'll tell you. Not bloody likely.

See you at the movies. Save me the unstained seat.


Coyote Ugly - 10/21/00

Shaft (2000) - 09/20/00

Final Destination - 08/03/00

Road Trip - 07/31/00

High Fidelity - 07/07/00

Reindeer Games - 06/11/00

Angela's Ashes - 04/29/00

Man on the Moon - 03/02/00

End of Days - 02/19/00

Bone Collector - 01/31/00

Bringing Out The Dead - 01/17/00

Double Jeopardy - 01/16/00

Fight Club - 12/03/99

The 13th Warrior - 10/24/99

Deep Blue Sea - 10/15/99

VVild VVild VVest - 09/06/99

Varsity Blues - 04/08/99

You've Got Mail - 03/29/99

Office Space - 03/15/99

Virus - 03/10/99

Pleasantville - 02/28/99

Living Out Loud - 02/15/99

Enemy of the State - 02/7/99

Jack Frost - 02/5/99

Psycho (1998) - 01/31/99

I Still Know What You Did Last Summer - 01/28/99

John Carpenter's Vampires - 01/22/99